Kale

Kale, glorious kale!! This curly green leaf is becoming my firm friend. Since I started this raw food quest, I have consistently read about the benefits of kale, so in my journey to put health before pleasure, I started buying this broad leathery leaf and must admit I was quite sceptical at first. The leaves are tough, so I was expecting something hard to chew and very earthy tasting.

I was very surprised to find it easy to eat raw and very mild in taste. So mild in fact that it's a great base for almost anything. It does not overpower any meal and I have grown to love this little leafy green. If you slice it very fine (like you would Chinese cabbage), you can't go wrong.

Here are some of the health benefits: http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Health-Benefits-of-Kale&id=136177

(Sorry, blogspot doesn't let me copy and paste, so I've added a link instead)

My only grudge with it is that it doesn't last long once you bring it home. If you are like me and avoid shopping like the plague, that poses a bit of a problem.

Because of this, growing it at home is the best solution. So, if you have a little space and are willing to give it try - Grow Some Kale.

Please.

Do it for me.

This is my favourite kale salad from Martha Stewart. I love it. It's addictive. It's simple, and yummy.

http://www.wholeliving.com/recipe/raw-kale-salad-with-gouda-pear-and-walnuts

Obviously if you are trying to be totally raw, you will leave out the cheese (I did). If not, then add the cheese and let me know what you thought.

By the way, I have no idea what Russian kale is and I certainly didn't find baby Russian kale. I just bought whatever was in stock.

I also tend to play with ingredients. For example, I love chives and have plenty in the garden, so in this recipe I just added a whole handful instead of the 6 stems required.

Play with it. Make it yours.

Enjoy.

(Photo: www.marthastewart.com)

To yoga or not to yoga?

That is the burning question.

I understand the idea of doing yoga along with eating raw has been off-putting, challenging, impossible, downright scary for some of you.

And, I'm here to tell you, you don't need to do yoga. Nope, not at all. Not even half a downward facing dog, or a quarter of a lotus. Nothing.

Yoga does not have to be in your life if you don't want it to be.

Whew - huge weight off the shoulders for some of you. You can breathe easily now.

I chose this plan that included yoga simply because...

1) I knew the teacher and so I trusted the information

2) I thought daily yoga would be a good way to help me keep focus

You see, yoga is what I live for (okay, maybe I'm overstating a little), it's my poison, it's my drug, it's my morning coffee when I can't have coffee. I just love yoga, it makes me feel alive and healthy and strong....... (and un-coordinated, and fat, and un-supple and crazy)... and for the good and the bad, it's just what I like to do.

But you really don't have to do it to change your life.

What you do have to do if you want to get fitter and healthier is move. Yup, you heard me - move. It doesn't matter if is bowling, badminton, basketball, bobsledding, back country skiing or basket weaving (okay, I ran out of B exercises), just move more than you normally do.

Swim if you like to swim, dance if you love to dance, walk if you love to walk. Do it at the gym, around your neighbourhood, at the local YWCA, at your friend's house or in the privacy of your own four walls.

It doesn't matter what you do or where you do it. Just get that body movin' and shakin' and jigglin' and wigglin'.

I met a group of people when I lived in the States. And I have to admit, I laughed at them at first (bad me).

I must have been living under a rock, because I had never heard of this, but they would go to a huge shopping mall before opening hours, all decked out in tracksuits and trainers and they would walk and walk around the mall.

What I realised later was that they were all people who felt vulnerable in their neighbourhoods. They were either older, or infirm, or female and they felt that it was unsafe to walk alone around their area, so they walked around a mall where there was security and people and stuff happening. And they would go round and round on their circuit until they had enough.

Every day.

I think that's great. It's clever, it's safe and it's cheap. It shows that their really is no excuse to not get out there and just do it.

Now, if you do this, don't go walk around during peak hours when you will be fighting mom's, babies and groups of teenagers. Go when it's quiet. Oh, and stopping every 10 steps to check out the merchandise doesn't count either. You have to stay focused and walk and get your heart pumping.

Yes, stay focused.

And find something you love. Find an exercise that makes you happy. And do it.

It doesn't have to be yoga.

(Photo - mine)

Inspiration

Well, it's just over a week since I finished the challenge and I've just come down from my sugar high!

Just kidding. I've been pretty good.

I think.

I won't lie, I did have the poached eggs I was craving and I also had a piping hot pizza with delicious melted cheese all over it. And you know what... It wasn't that exciting. It felt heavy and over-salted and a little like a big dead weight in my stomach.
I certainly didn't feel like I was eating the most wonderful thing in the world. And trust me, when I started this challenge, I thought that if you removed pizza from my life entirely I might just die.

What I have noticed is one thing that is AMAZING. When I eat cooked food, it tastes dead. I know, that's a very harsh term, but it's the only way I can describe it. When I was only eating raw, I didn't notice that the food felt particularly alive, but once I mixed it up, cooked food tasted somewhat bland, dead and simply not full of goodness.

That's super exciting for me, because if I can remember that taste and those feelings, it's incentive to keep feeding my body with healthy, alive food.

Raw food just bursts with goodness when you eat it. And, the more you tip the balance in that direction, the better it tastes and the worse processed food tastes. It really does. You'll have to trust me.

I also have not had any coffee - yay, can you see my halo from where you are sitting? You should be able to.

I don't know how that has happened, but the minute I woke up after the challenge I did not run downstairs and brew the biggest pot of coffee I could. I just haven't bothered. I've stuck to my green and peppermint tea - peppermint is my favourite, yum.

But, all that aside. The real reason for this post today, is because I want to thank everyone for all their support.
All you guys around the world who have left comments, or asked questions, or left me messages on other message boards and blogs (yup, I've had a hard time finding some of those, but I think I've got them all)....

Your words and your kind congratulations have encouraged me to stick with this. Many of you have said I've inspired you (wow, humbled) and I want you to know that you are inspiring me.

You really are.

So let's keep doing that. Inspiring each other.
And the world will turn a whole lot smoother. Actually I'm not sure how it will affect the whole world, but it will make my world turn smoother.

I am listening to your questions and your concerns and this is what I'm going to do. I'll actually address them. Yikes, I know.

Well, I'll answer them if I can. Or I'll just make something up.

But I'll tell you if I'm making it up.

Over the next while, I will go through what I'm trying to eat daily (I still can't give you recipes from the book because of copyright and all that you understand), but what I'm going to try and do is continue to experiment with recipes that are freely available.

If I find recipes I like, I'll post them.

Now remember, I'm not promoting anyone, or being sponsored by anyone, so anything I post is just because my taste buds liked it. Yours may not. But, on Pink Passion Flower, my taste buds rule. That's how it's going to work.

So, if you have questions, ask away. Trust me, I'm learning along with you.

DAY 1 ... Observations

Today is the end, or the beginning, whichever way you want to look at it.

I have learnt a lot over the past forty days so here are my observations of the good, the bad and the ugly. Except there really is no ugly.

First things first, because I know you are dying to know. I have lost 14 pounds in 40 days. Some might think that is a lot, or a little, but I'll tell you this. As someone who has been struggling with hypothyroidism and has not been able to lose 2 pounds in a year even with the 'daily wonder drug thyroid medication'. This is not only good, it's a gosh dang miracle.

And, while we are on this, I remember doing those ridiculous diets that teenagers do, all those years back. You always seemed to loose a few pounds, gain a pound, loose some, gain some. Well, this has been steady loss. I have not gained at all during this period.

Now many people say that the weight just falls off when you go raw. I haven't exactly experienced free falling pounds just shedding themselves while I'm standing in line at the post office. But hey, like I've said before, it took me a while to get here, forty days really isn't that long in light of that.

Also, we are all different. If you aren't hypothyroid, if your metabolism functions at an optimal rate, if you are relatively fit and healthy anyway and you do this, I'm sure your results would be even more dramatic. I also believe that if I did this for six months instead of six weeks, there would be a drastic difference.

But for now, I'll take the miracle - thanks.

There have been noticeable differences in some basic things in my life. I've mentioned most of these before sleep, energy, nails, eyes and all that, so you can read earlier 'observation posts' to see those. There really hasn't been a remarkable difference from what I've already reported.

I still have almost daily headaches. Definitely not migraines, which is a wonder all on its own. But just mild, niggly dull headaches. I attribute this to two things.

Firstly exercise. I have a frustratingly tight back. It's so tight it's like a block of concrete. It practically takes heavy machinery to untangle and unlock those muscles. When I do exercise - let's say yoga for now, but really you can substitute anything - they get so shocked that they are being unlocked. They get all confused and sore and grumpy that I'm waking them from their lazy life, and I get tension headaches.

Don't worry, I spoke to a personal trainer/physiotherapist about this, that's what she said.

Somewhat.

She might have been a little more scientific.

Secondly, detox, detox, detox. I know this is happening because I can feel it and also because I go to the toilet 100 times a day. Things are getting shaken up in there. This can cause headaches.

Now I know all the raw food guru's out there (yup, Matt Monarch, I'm talking about you) say the easiest way to speed up the detox and to lose the headaches is by doing coffee enemas.

Yup, and you know what, that's great.

Awesome in fact. I'm thrilled that one of life's mysteries have been solved. It's just that I can't quite get my head around those.

I'm a weak kneed, lily livered, yellow bellied baby and I don't mind you calling me that. But for now, if I'm going to be having coffee, I'll take it in a cup on my back deck thank you.

Enough said on that topic.

Now, I understand that raw isn't for everyone. But what I've learnt these past few weeks, is that you don't have to be 100% raw to make huge improvements. If you just can't give up meat at all (for now), you can try having a huge healthy raw salad with it, instead of a green bean casserole (which lets face it is usually more casserole and less green bean).

You can have a big luscious salad for lunch instead of the tuna mayo sub (heavy on the mayo please!). Or you can do things as simply as cut out the coffee and drink more fresh juices (no, I don't mean Tropicana). Or even better, green juice.

It's really interesting, because one thing I thought would be so tough was giving up the coffee (see earlier post http://pinkpassionflower.blogspot.com/2010/03/adieu-carbs-coffee-and-cheese.html), but it turns out, after the first few days, that's the one thing I haven't even thought of while doing this. Granted I haven't spent two hours sitting in Starbucks just to test my theory, but I'm also not sticking my head in the coffee jar anymore inhaling the remnants of freshly ground beans.

Now don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of cravings during this little journey. There have been times I've been tempted to duct tape my hands together so I can't open a bag of chips, or drive to the shops to buy something. Fortunately it didn't ever get that bad and somehow I got through it.

But the good news is I have read, that between 3-6 months, these cravings really disappear. I know, don't even tell me how long 6 months sounds right now.

I really believe that as you make these little improvements, you will start to prefer the feeling and taste of eating these foods. I also feel (and don't tell the guru's or they will have the raw food police after me) that if you can't find/afford raw honey for example, it won't kill you to just use whatever honey you can buy. Just don't use white granulated sugar as a substitute.

Now don't get me wrong. I do understand that eating all natural, organic and totally raw is the ideal goal. I also understand that 100% raw is optimal.

However, all I'm saying is that making small changes can be a great way to start, because jumping in the deep end of a forty day challenge is not necessarily the easiest way to go about it. And as you progress and your taste buds change, and your thought process changes, and your shopping habits change, and your view on 'normal' food changes, as you make more of those changes you will be heading in the right direction.

Because let's face it, for the average family who is used to a Standard American Diet, going from barbecued ribs and chicken fried steak on the weekend, to raw cauliflower with a pine nut dressing, is a bit of a shock to the system!

And that's partly why I wanted to write this blog. When I was doing my research, most of what I was finding were people who have been 80 - 100% raw for years. And I mean years and years.

It's great talking about the benefits (which I truly believe are monumental) 4 years into it. But I wanted to share what it was like to start the journey. To see the ups and downs of changing from the known to the unknown. Because, that really is the hard part.

I also wanted to show it from the point of view of someone who has come from a regular way of eating, instead of someone who has been borderline organic/raw/health food conscious most of their life.

So, raw food police or not, I stand firm in the belief that anything you do to head in the direction of a raw diet is better than not even taking those steps in the first place. I would also like to think that if more people started to eat like this, all the raw seeds and nuts, the supplements and the organic produce would become more accessible and therefore more affordable to the general population.

But first, you have to change your mindset. You have to change how you view what you eat. And I'll tell you right now, that society as we know it and as it's set up currently does not support you in this. You will definitely be the lone fish swimming upstream. And that is always a hard stream to swim in.

The obvious question then is where do I go from here. Well, my plan is to be as raw as possible as much as possible. I'm not committing to being 100% raw, 100% of the time. But I am committing to being as raw as much as I can be. I have worked too hard to throw it all away now.

I'm also not saying that on Saturday I won't be having a little cooked food celebration - that would be crazy.

One huge lesson I have taken from this is that there are alternatives, you just have to look for them. So, in future, if I want cookies, I'll find a raw recipe for one. I have also learnt, that if you are going to be raw, you really do need a good supply of recipes.

I have mentioned this before and I reiterate, if you are not used to creating raw food either buy some recipe books (yes, they do exist), or find free raw recipes on the Internet (there are many of them out there). I had no idea what you could create with nuts, seeds and raw produce.

Once I started, it was easier to make up my own things, or substitute ingredients, but I would never have known to grind cashew nuts into a flour to make cookie dough on my own - would you?
If you don't have recipes, you will fall back on what you know (which is normally just boring salad) and this will impede your ability to be successful.

So, now you know my aim for the future.

I will continue to post on this site and to update my raw experiences. I won't be posting every day though. So, keep your eyes peeled.

DAY 2 ... WOW

It's my second last day. I can hardly believe it.

Never in my life has forty days gone so quickly, or taken so long. Been so easy and been so hard. It just shows you where taking things two hours at a time can get you.

Tomorrow I'll be doing my final Observations. Like the ones I normally do on Sunday.

But for today, I'm just savouring the feeling of what it's like to be here. I'm almost sad in a way. The daily blogging, the total focus on one goal, I'm going to miss it. It's like a child going off to college. The house will be emptier and quieter without my daily obsession with raw food.

But mostly, I'm just proud of myself. Proud that I said I would do it and did it. Proud that I stuck to it, even when the going got tough and the coffee and carbs were screaming loudly for me to just give up and succumb.

And I'm happy. I'm happy for many reasons - one of them being I can have that poached egg on Saturday morning, ha!

I'm just kidding. There is a lot to be happy about. But for now, I'm going to savour, savour, savour this moment.

By the way, total change of subject and unrelated to raw, these flowers are from my sister's garden a few years ago. Aren't they gorgeous?

DAY 3... The protein debate

For years there has been the debate between vegans / vegetarians / raw foodies and those who aren't any of the aforementioned, about protein.

Speak to most young (or old) strapping men about becoming veggie and the first thing they will say to you is 'where do I get my protein? How will I build any muscle?'.

I for one am not going to get into this debate. There are people out there who have way more information than I do on this topic and I just don't like arguing. I also just don't really get the big deal, maybe I'm missing something.

What I will say are two things. Firstly, ever seen a horse, a cow, a hippo or an elephant? They have some of the largest, strongest, leanest and most muscular bodies on this lovely planet.

Now let me ask you another question, ever invited one over for a barbecue? Ribs? Surf and turf?

No, I didn't think so, because they are all vegetarian (actually vegan)! Enough said.

Secondly, no matter what your opinion is, if you try to go raw (which happens to be vegan - although you can be vegan without being raw), you will come up against this question from concerned loved ones, inquisitive friends and very often the men in your life.

My hubby is definitely one of those guys. Whenever we discuss raw, I hear protein, protein, protein. So I did a little research.

One way you can supplement your diet is to take plant based protein powders, usually in the form of hemp protein or brown rice protein (Sun Warrior is supposed to be the best). I like to add these to the hemp seed, banana and cacao/carob shakes I have almost every day.

You can buy most of these flavoured (often vanilla or chocolate), but I don't like doing that, I prefer to have control over my own flavours, so I buy natural and then add carob or raw cacao if I want it to be chocolate or you can add vanilla seeds fresh from the pod if you prefer that.

These are available at most good health stores. They can be pricey though. So I went in search of an online source and found Raw Nutrition http://www.rawnutrition.ca/ . They are a family based business located in the Ottawa Valley.

What I loved about ordering from them, is that not only is the shipping free (in Canada) over $100, but their service was fantastically efficient and friendly.

Okay so I didn't actually talk to anyone from the company, but the way my box was packed, and the little extra details like the food combining chart that was included told me it was friendly! You know. You can see a box that was packed in a caring friendly way can't you?

So that's my take on protein. Love it, hate it, need it, don't need it? Wherever you are, there is a source out there for you without having to turn to meat.

(Picture - Sun Warrior)

DAY 4 ... How Martha Stewart saved my marriage

It's true, and it's the reason I was a little sad to start a raw food challenge.

You see, I came to the kitchen very late in my life. Lots of reasons really. I was never passionate about food, I was always surrounded by people who loved to cook, I was vegetarian, I was super fussy so if it didn't come in the form of a salad, a cheese and tomato sandwich, or tomato soup I wasn't really interested. Basically cooking just did not grab my attention and it's not like I was starving. I did pretty well without ever turning on the oven.

And then, I got married.

The first few weeks of marriage, I heard that question that sends shivers down the spines of women around the world daily. It made my throat go dry and the hair stand up on my arms. 'What's for dinner?'.

I hated those three little words. Boy, did I hate them.

I hated them as much as the five words that often followed. 'It's not like my mother's .......' Substitute any dish on the face of the planet.

'Why didn't you marry your mother?' was my normal response, until I realised this was going to be a very long battle, and I should just get it over with and figure out how to find my way around food.

Normally, I would run straight to my mom, and she would make me tea, envelop me in her love and commiserate, then take me into her kitchen and show me some tricks. The only problem is that my mom lived thousands of miles away on a different continent.

So I did what any self respecting modern North American woman does, I turned to TV. I watched Emeril, and Top Chef religiously and then I discovered Martha Stewart.

Martha walked me through roasting a chicken (I had never touched raw chicken before, remember I was a vegetarian), she showed me what to keep in my pantry and how to plan ahead (sometimes, I still break into a sweat about that) and even got me to make a pork loin (which it just so happens was better than my mother in laws!).

And, just as I was building up my kitchen arsenal, the Kitchen Aid, the Cuisineart, the pastry cutter, the meat thermometre and the silpats. And, just as I was learning (somewhat) how to get the starch and the meat out at the same time without one being burnt or one being cold, I decided to go raw.

So, you can understand there is a little nostalgia. It's like going to university and quitting in your final year.

I have to thank Martha Stewart for saving my marriage, but if I'm honest, these days, it's also quite nice to only worry about whether the dressing has blended enough before I dress the salad.

(Photo - Wikimedia)

DAY 5 ... Carrots and eggs

I said I was going to juice more this week and I have been. Well, a little bit, still not as much as I would like to. I asked hubby to buy me some carrots to add flavour to my juice. I must have been mumbling or something, because he came home with a 10 pound bag and then promptly went on a business trip. Ten pounds just for me, are you kidding me?

Normally I would have a simple solution - carrot cake - and lots of it, which would make everyone happy. Not this time though.

If I had a rabbit - which I wish I had by the way - we would still struggle to get through it. So guess which juice I'm drinking this week?

Yup, 4-5 carrots, one apple, and a 'top of your thumb joint' piece of ginger makes a delicious drink. Actually it's delicious the first time. By the time you have had 6 of them, you start feeling a little um, well, nauseous is a good word. I keep looking at my hands, but they haven't turned orange yet.

At least I'm getting my beta carotene and anti oxidants.

But really, I'm just avoiding the truth here. My chatter about carrots is to hide the real issue.

The real issue is that all I have been able to think about today is having a poached egg on Saturday morning for breakfast. Actually I've been debating whether I will be able to stop at one, or will splash out and have two.

And you know what a poached egg means don't you. It means toast too. You can't just eat them on their own, it wouldn't be right.

I just can't help myself okay. This 40 days suddenly seems like a very long time. And, I can hear those eggs and those little poaching pods calling my name every time I walk into the kitchen. I've shoved them to the back of the drawer and turned the music up louder so I can't hear them, but they keep calling.

What's a girl to do?

DAY 6 ... Observations

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday - love it. So, what have I observed this week.

After falling off the yoga bandwagon, I pulled myself up and got right back on. My body might not be thanking me now, but it will down the road. It felt really good to get back into class. I still agree with my decision though - when your body needs a break, you should give it one.

I think I have come back stronger and more focused.

Now that the end is in sight there has been a definite shift in my perspective. I keep thinking, 'Wow, the bulk of this is behind me, what's another few days?'. That's the big thought in my head, the little thought is the same it's been all along - little by little, step by step - I only take it two hours at a time. That makes it feel like anything is possible.

I would like to do more juicing this week. I haven't been doing as much as I had hoped to and I think it will benefit me to get more of those healthy green vegetables into my system without grazing like a cow all day. So, I'll juice.

I just read an article about doing a 36 day juice fast. Wow, I thought 40 days raw was tough, can you imagine only doing juice? I'm not tough enough for that yet.

Another observation this week is that my nails look fantastic. I've always been blessed with strong nails, but the the past few years they have been more brittle than usual. This week I've noticed how strong and healthy they look. And, they are growing like weeds, which in the nail department is a good thing.

I have definitely deviated from the menu. I just got tired of weighing, slicing, blending, chopping, mixing, mashing and everything else. The advantage of this is that I have eaten simple meals and less of them. The disadvantage is that I still need to be vigilant about getting a range of nutrients.

I am more aware of the taste of simple food. This is very exciting for me. When I first went raw, I noticed that so much of what we eat is heavily salted and sugared that everything else starts to taste bland. I had to spice things up with interesting raw dressings and sauces. Now, I still use dressing, but I am more able to taste the different and subtle flavours in the natural foods.

In the meantime, I'll keep counting down to the big numero UNO!

DAY 7... Rain and hot chocolate

Before I get to the hot chocolate, did you see the number in the title?

7 to be exact ..... I'm well into single digits, only 1 more week to go. I can hardly believe it.

When I began this, 40 days sounded like the biggest number in the world. A number that I might never succeed in reaching. It felt like being asked to count to 100 when you are a little kid and your brain can't quite figure out how to get there. And, no matter how hard you try you always get stuck around 20-something because counting to 100 seems like the hardest thing in the world. It is so far away, and so difficult, and the obstacle of three digits seems insurmountable.

That's how 40 felt a few weeks ago. And now, I'm down to a single digit and I feel like I can just see the finish line in the foggy distance. A finish line towards which I am hurtling myself at a ferocious speed.

That being said, it's pouring today. There has been nothing but driving rain since I first opened my eyes this morning. Oh, and grey skies. Rain and grey skies.

I've already been out for two sopping wet walks with my exercise partner. She enjoyed it, I didn't. She doesn't mind being wet, I do.

And now, all I want is a nice big mug of hot chocolate. A big mug I can warm my hands around while I sit next to the fire and watch the rain pour down outside.

Peppermint tea with blue agave just doesn't have the same ring to it does it? But it will have to do. I'm not giving up now silly.

DAY 8... Things happen

When you wake up. Isn't it funny how sometimes we don't see things that are right in front of us. We can be experiencing them every day and for some reason are completely blind to what is going on.

That happened to me this week. Now, I'm going to blame it on a 4 day migraine. Well, that's my excuse, but the reality is I just had my eyes shut.

You see, I figured after I got through week one and definitely week two of this raw food challenge, that it would be plane sailing. I don't know why, but I just had it all figured out in my head that those would be the tough weeks and if I survived them, then it would be easy as pie.

Yes, I was totally delusional. Weeks one and two were relatively easy. Surprisingly easy. Perhaps it was because I had worked myself into such a frenzy about this whole thing. Maybe it was just the adrenaline pushing or pulling me through. Nevertheless, I got rather smug.

Then I hit week three. Boy, that one was a toughie. I can't put my finger on what it was. Weird cravings, a deep desire for something solid - trust me, salad does not feel solid after a while - the need for anything going into my mouth to be warm. All these odd things, made it hard to focus.

But, today I woke up.

It's like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I realise that for the past week I've been eating the same very very (trust me when I said 'very' the first time) basic salad for dinner and a simple salad for lunch. I haven't bothered with all the menu meals. I've been eating really small portions and not feeling like I need much of anything.

It suddenly seems easy again. And, for some reason I didn't even notice.

DAY 9 ... Everything makes a difference

When I woke up this morning, with an-almost-clear-head - I say almost, because the migraine is lingering ever so slightly - I thought about the starfish foundation and the story that started it all. It's a story about the difference you can make and how even if you can't save or help everything, saving just one starfish makes a difference to that starfish. If you haven't read the story, you can see it here http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/starfish.htm

It got me thinking about this journey of raw.

There are many times on this road that I have questioned whether this is worth it (of course I know it is, but you know how sometimes your chattering monkey mind makes you doubt the obvious?). I have questioned whether I have the strength and determination to stick with this (apparently so far I do!). I have questioned whether this is sustainable (I think it is, but you have to arrange your life differently and I'll talk about this another time). I have questioned whether it is making enough of a difference (duh! obvious, but you know, I want instant gratification just like the rest of you).

Basically I have doubts. I know they are totally unfounded, but that doesn't stop them creeping into my brain some times. I know that what I am doing is right for me, but that knowledge does not necessarily make it any easier.

Nevertheless, thinking of the starfish story made me think about the difference I'm making. I'm making a difference for me, and for me, that makes all the difference. I just have to keep going, one step at a time.

(Photo - mine)

DAY 10 ... A thousand apologies

Because I'm on day two of this clunker. Yup, the mega migraine I spoke about yesterday. Instead of getting better, it is so much worse.

Somehow it's wedged itself in my brain and I can't get it out. The butterflies just keep getting bigger and flapping their wings louder.

Again, I will retire to a quiet and dark space with nothing but the sound of my breath for company. And, I will dream of feeling the serenity you can see in this picture. A thousand apologies.

(Photo - mine)

DAY 11... I spoke too soon

Don't you hate it when you speak too soon, and then the thing you were so happy didn't happen does happen?

Arg, I did just that. I was raving about how migraine-free I've been and today I wake up with a clunker. If you don't know that word, it's the sound a butterfly's wings make in your head when you have a migraine. If a butterfly sounds like pots being thrown, you can imagine what the garbage trucks, or screaming children do to your brain when it's in this state.

This is the first one in a month though, so I'm hardly complaining, just passing on the information.

So, I will whisper an apology for no exciting insights into the world of raw today and go crawl into bed where everything is dark and quiet and lovely. And, where there are no butterflies.

Day 12...I love

Observation Sundays. Taking the time to look back over the week makes such a difference. Especially those weeks when I haven't felt like much has changed, or those weeks I may have been a little ornery (even though that's unusual for me, sometimes it does happen!).

Take yesterday for example. I felt like the week hadn't been that successful until I started writing about it, once I noticed some things had disappeared from my life I realised that it had indeed been a good week. It just didn't develop in the way I had anticipated it would.

And trust me, we always want things to come into our lives, but sometimes things just need to leave our lives instead, that way it creates a space for something new to enter.

The other reason I love Observation Sundays, is because once I've acknowledged my progress - because lets face it, as long as I keep taking the steps, I consider myself to be making progress - it is incentive for me to keep on working hard and to stick with it.

So, this morning, I jumped out of bed at 5:00am - okay, jumped is a bit of an exaggeration, I rolled off the edge, and once I hit the floor woke up pretty quickly - and instead of trying to get back to sleep I went off to my first 6:00am hot yoga class.

I was pretty proud of myself. I've always been a morning person, but for the last few years that has changed and it takes me a long time to get going after waking. Not this morning. By 6:10 I was doing downward facing dog with the rest of the over-enthusiastic crowd. I felt like I'd just been admitted to a club that had previously had its doors closed to me.

But the best thing about it is that by 8:30am, I'd done an hour of yoga, walked the dog, had breakfast and put the washing on. Now that is a great way to start the day. Now, I'm off to build a wooden fence in the backyard. Not bad for a days work.

So you see what a day of observation can do? Yes, it creates little miracles.

DAY 13...Observations

Wow, day 13, I can hardly believe it. I am rolling downhill fast, closer and closer to number 1. Thank goodness. I can tell you that very often on this journey, you feel like this lovely lone tree. Staring out over the Grand Canyon wondering how on earth you will cross that chasm to the other side.

Then, I have to remember that every journey starts with a small step. And more importantly, that every journey is only completed if I keep taking those steps one after the other, after the other.
I realise now that the famous quotes always tell me how to start adventures, they forget to tell me how to finish them.

That aside, today is Sunday. I love Sunday. It means another week has passed. It means I am making progress.

Progress. Hmm, that is one of my observations this week. I feel like the progress is so slow. I was hoping to see some physical results quicker. However, I have to remember that it took me years to feel like this, it is unfair to expect all of that to be unravelled in a few weeks. I guess you can look at it that slow and steady wins the race. But, a girl can still hope can't she?

So, while I feel like I am crawling along at a snail's pace, there are some very good things to report on this week.

I am used to living with headaches. Migraines actually. They are a constant companion of mine. And, while they are an unwelcome companion, I get so used to them I wonder sometimes if my week is complete without at least one by my side. I am happy to report that I have not had a single migraine since I started eating raw.
Yes, I have had minor headaches, but not the mind numbing, head pounding, pull down the shades and block out all sound type. I can account for almost all the minor ones (coffee withdrawal, over-zealous stretching, twisted to hard in yoga) and I can deal with those.

For the past few years, I have found it very hard to move my hands easily. They have been stiff, swollen and in constant pain, hard to open fully and hard to close fully which makes typing, writing, and holding onto anything a bit of a challenge. Right now, they feel fine. No swelling, no pain and I can grip things fairly well. If not perfectly, then at least a lot better than I could 6 months ago.

While these may not seem like amazing things to someone else. For me, they are the changes that improve my quality of life. They are the things that make daily life easier.

And while writing this, I have just been reminded that the changes are happening. They are happening in mammoth and miraculous ways. They might not be taking place in the order I was hoping for or expecting, but they are happening.

And that is something to truly be grateful for.

(Photo - mine)

DAY 14...Raw Cookies

I had a dilemma today. Remember I mentioned a while back that my husband might have the sweetest tooth on the planet? Seriously, it's crazy, this man could live on dessert. Give him a plate of cookies and his eyes light up, his smile broadens and suddenly he starts behaving like a five year old with a new bright red fire truck. It's an incredible transformation to witness.

Today he comes to me with this serious expression on his face and says 'Babe, I can't do this raw stuff anymore.'

'Why?' I ask, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. I know my success is based largely on his support, so I need him to be somewhat raw almost more than I need myself to be raw.

'I need dessert, I need sweets, I need cookies, I need...' his voice starts to take on that whiny quality. You know the one that you hear when said new bright red fire truck gets taken away from the five year old?

I hear myself saying something like - Okay, don't worry, I'll make some cookies - but my mind is racing to figure out a way of making them raw. Raw, but so good he won't even notice.

Now I have to admit, the blessing and the curse of being raw is not having to cook or bake.

It's a blessing, because timing a meal has never been easier. You don't have to figure out exactly when the meat will be done (without over cooking it) so you can make sure the potatoes are still hot when you serve them, while wondering if you'll over steamed the broccoli. You know what I'm taking about. It's that part of cooking I just never got comfortable with.

The curse is that you don't get to do fun things like bake. I love baking. I love my bright red Kitchen Aid mixer (it's the equivalent of a fire truck for girls). I love the expression on hubbies face when a new batch of something comes out of the oven. Or, when he walks in the door and says the whole house smells like cookie dough. Or wrapping up gifts of baked goods to take to co-workers. I miss baking.

So, I was determined to find something that was good. I searched and searched and came upon this recipe from The Sunny Raw Kitchen. http://thesunnyrawkitchen.blogspot.com/2008/06/recipe-of-week-chocolate-chip-cookies.html and thought I would give it a shot.

Oh my goodness. I'll just say that we might have ended up with a few more cookies if the raw dough didn't taste so good. And if perhaps I didn't eat some of it right out the bowl on the kitchen counter while waiting for the chocolate chips to harden. These cookies are incredible.

Who knew you could do this with raw.

I told hubby that I had put them in the freezer to cool down quicker so he could eat them quicker, but that I had forgotten to take them out - okay, you can laugh, but I had to explain why they were freezing!
Of course, if I had that dehydrator, I could have faked them just coming out the oven.

Now, he may or may not have believed my tale about the freezing. After all, this man is no dummy.

However, the important thing is - What did he say? He said that they were the best chocolate chip cookies he had ever tasted and where did I get the chips, because they tasted nicer than the ones I normally used! Ha, I knew I could do it.

This recipe is unbelievable.

This is what I would do differently next time. Because, I just know there will be a next time.

1) In the batter, I only used 1/4 cup coconut oil, instead of 1/2 a cup. I think I would still reduce this and only use 1/8 of a cup - they were a little oily for my liking.

2) I used the full 1/4 cup agave nectar, and next time I will halve this too and only use 1/8 of a cup. Hubby liked it sweet - of course he did - but it was too sweet for me.

3) I used the 3/4 cup ground oat groats and LOVED them. They added a nice chewiness to the cookie. Next time I might add some more and reduce the cashew nut flour.

4) I added a drizzle (yes, a tiny drizzle) of agave into the chocolate chips to make them semi sweet - I liked it.

5) I didn't roll them in cashew flour afterwards and just dropped awkward shaped scoops on a piece of parchment paper - I was tired and wanted it to be over.

6) Next time I will mix them in my Kitchen Aid to pretend I'm 'real baking' and to remind it that it still has a place in my heart.

That's it, those are my suggestions to suit my taste.

If you modify or don't modify, that's up to you. But if you don't try these, you'll be missing a lovely treat in life.
(Photo - The Sunny Raw Kitchen)

DAY 15... What I've learnt part 2

I've just finished hugging my blender, so I have a little free time before it becomes needy again.

I have learnt so much since becoming raw that this could probably be a 10 part series, but for now I'll leave it at 2. One thing I do know, is that the more I learn about raw, the more I realise just how little I know.

There is a whole world out there of incredible food and unbelievable recipes that you can't imagine even exist. Seriously, raw pizza, raw quiche, raw cookies, raw, raw, raw... it's amazing. Add to that, small communities of people talking to each other and teaching each other and helping each other on this journey. It's wonderful.

I've also learnt that it's hard being raw. Not because eating the food is tough, but because society as it is right now just doesn't support it. While there is more awareness of healthier food, and healthier living, raw food is still a bridge too far.

Not only do people think you are crazy, but we are surrounded by bad food, ads of bad food, people eating bad food, pictures of bad food. You know what I mean. Every time you turn your head you see something boiled, dipped, dunked or fried in fat or covered in sugar. I know there are some good alternatives available, but I'm realising that unless you are preparing it at home (cooked or uncooked), most of the food out there is just unhealthy.

Another thing I've learnt is that raw can be expensive. I have found that because I am following a plan and have a very varied diet, it's hard to save money. I know this will change when I break out on my own and decide my own menu each day.

I'm also taking a ton of additional foods/supplements to regular fruit and veggies. I don't mean supplements of the capsule kind, I mean Maca and Lucuma powder - I know the Inca's did not provide cheap super foods.

And bee pollen - I'm thinking of starting my own hive.

And hulled hemp seeds - I'd grow my own, but would likely be arrested. All those extras and additions that start to add up.

However, when you balance that out against what you normally spend eating out every month, or what you spend on takeaways (yes, including those coffees you sneak in before work "because they're only a couple of dollars"), or how much you spend going to the doctor for heart burn or diabetes, or high blood pressure, or all those aches and pains you feel, I'm not sure it really is that much more expensive.

What I'm really saying, is you have to be clever with your shopping when you are raw. Look around, do some research, see what you can buy in bulk, see what you can order on the Internet. There are ways to save, but it's unlikely they will come in the form of your weekly grocery coupons.

And then, there are the gadgets. In the first part of 'What I've learnt' I told you about my blender and FP and the dehydrator I dream of owning. You can get by initially with just the basics, and you can get by with your regular blender from Walmart or wherever you got it from. However, the longer you stay raw, and the more varied you decided to make your meals, you will need to start improving the quality of your appliances.

My cheap 10 year old blender right now is like the Little Blender that Could. It just goes and goes. However, I know it doesn't give me the same results a Vitamix/Blendtec would. I also know I have to be gentle with it, and talk to it nicely and give it regular hugs so it doesn't mind working it's fifth shift of the day.

The dehydrator is the biggie. So far I have managed just fine without one. But I know that if I am to continue this journey and want to be able to either eat warm food that is still raw (quite a pleasant thought during the winter sub zero temperatures). Or, if I want to make raw wraps and breads and quiches I will need (read: desperately want) a dehydrator.

I also don't have a spiralizer and I'm doing just fine. Again, if you do this long term and want to have raw pastas, this is a useful (and not very expensive tool).

What I'm saying is that starting a raw journey can be daunting anyway. You don't need to worry about running out and buying a whole new kitchen full of appliances to do it. Depending on whether you stick with it or not, you can slowly buy the things you deem necessary as you come to realise what your needs are.

Just like the food you are transitioning to, remember to take things one step at a time.

DAY 16... Awesome salad

I wanted to do a part 2 of 'what I've learnt', but I got so distracted by the salad I made for lunch I just have to share it with you. I promise I'll continue with part two tomorrow.

There is one huge advantage to eating raw, and that is you can be really creative with how you prepare meals. So, although I've been following a meal plan to make it easier, there is no reason why you can't just make up your own food - as long as it's raw. And, because you don't have to worry about cooking times and rising and whether it will be fluffy, or fall flat, you can't go too far wrong. At least I don't think you can!

Anyway, I was running late and got home way after lunch time in a panic. I didn't take head of my post from yesterday which said plan, plan, plan. I had forgotten to take a snack with me when I was out and the result was I got home and was ready to start gnawing the side of the couch if I couldn't find food fast.

I looked in the fridge and just decided to throw some things together.

Arugula - I buy it in bulk, because it is the one leafy green I could eat all day. I am in love with arugula. I would call my child Arugula.

Baby marrows / courgettes - There were some lovely firm, bright green organic ones just dying to be used.

Tomatoes - I will eat tomatoes with anything, at any time of the day. If I didn't call my child Arugula, I might try Tomato, but I don't think my husband would go for that.

Strawberries - Now, I'm not a big fan of adding fruit into salad. I know it's popular, but I just don't do it often. However, I had these great strawberries that I knew would spoil soon so I wanted to use them but didn't feel like eating them on their own. What the heck I thought, just throw them in.

Simple, that's it.

And then... Then there was the dressing...

First, you have to understand that I regularly crave salty things. Like I've said before, I'm not a huge chocolate fan, but put something salty in front of me and it'll be gone before you exhale. Today I was craving salt in a way that was inhuman. I don't know what that means, but I was craving salt badly.

Normally I wouldn't have a problem. I would get a bag of salt and vinegar chips and eat them. But no matter how much I research and wiggle it and try as I might, I just can't fit chips into the raw food category. Trust me I've tried. If there is one thing I would try and slip into raw food, it's chips. But I knew I had to get the salty flavour I was craving, so I decided to throw together a dressing that might help.

Unfortunately I didn't measure anything - which is unusual for me, I'm a consummate measurer, and I apologise - I just threw it all together in a mason jar and shook until my hand got sore.

So, throw in some balsamic vinegar (I'm not sure if this is truly raw, but throw it in anyway), then add about 1tsp of Dijon mustard (if you think you've thrown in a whole teaspoon, then add some more, more than you think is reasonable), add extra virgin olive oil (I think it was almost equal with the vinegar, a dash of Pink Himalayan sea salt (or the regular kind if you haven't been to the Himalayas recently) and then here's the kicker... a good bit (maybe 2 -3 Tbsp) of tahini (raw sesames ground down to make an oily thick sauce).

Put the lid on and shake until your hand hurts. It should be extremely thick, almost unable to pour thick. And, it's brown, chocolatey brown. Then, before you toss it into your salad, taste it to see if you need to adjust. At this point, try not to drink it all straight out of the jar like I almost did, remember you have a salad to dress. THEN, pour it on your salad. Mine was so thick, I ended up sprinkling a few drops of olive oil on top of the whole lot just to help it to blend into the salad better.

And, because I was feeling the need for so much salt, I threw a few olives in at the last minute. Now, I was really afraid of mixing strawberries and tomatoes and olives. I wasn't sure just how revolting it would be. But, I decided to live on the edge and just threw them in. It is honestly the most amazing salad I have eaten (either that or I was so hungry I was losing my mind).

I think the keys are the mustard and tahini and the arugula and strawberries. Give it a try. The pic above is what mine looked like. Yum

DAY 17... What I've learnt

About being raw. These are things I did not know before I embarked on this journey. So, in the interest of full disclosure and in case you are considering following this path, here are a few things I have learnt.

When I started, I thought I was married to my husband. Now, my husband just lives with us, but actually I am married to my blender and my food processor. I spend more hours lovingly scraping soups, sauces, dressings and toppings out my blender, then I do talking to hubby.

I spend more time washing, rinsing and drying my food processor, so I can use it 100 times a day, then I do deciding what to wear. Okay, so 100 times is a bit much, but let's just say multiple times and yes, I'm indecisive about clothing.

Oh, and if I said I use my food processor 100 times a day, I use my scale and measuring cups 1,000 times a day. They are my new best friends.

I used to empty my green bin into the garden compost heap once a week. I now empty it once a day - if it can make it through a whole day. My garden loves me.

I used to floss twice a day (okay, sometimes I only did it once, but don't tell my dentist), now I floss every time I eat. Does 'spinach between the teeth mean anything to you'? (You can substitute kale, parsley, arugula and dill!)

Before I started, I didn't know what a dehydrator was. Now I wake up in the middle of the night dreaming of finding one in my kitchen in the morning.

I used to put old toothbrushes to work cleaning bottles, or awkward areas in the house. Now I have a whole collection to use on the poor carrots trapped in the sieve of my juicer. I say 'poor' because they don't make it into the compost heap with their friends.

When I was hungry, I used to just open the fridge and see what was available. When you are raw, you have to plan, plan, plan and oh, did I mention plan.

Things need to soak and sprout and set and freeze. The oat groats for breakfast soak overnight. The buckwheat for my pizza crust soaks for 30 hours. Cheeze topping needs to 'settle' for 2 hours. Cheesecake is best if frozen overnight. You get my drift.

Of course you don't have to do all this soaking and freezing and settling, if you are happy to enjoy a long life filled with iceberg and spinach salad. But, if you want variety in your life, if you want to make your raw food more like 'regular' food, trust me, you'll be doing all these things. Also, the variety encourages you to get a balanced diet, which means you get the full range of nutrients, minerals and vitamins we all need.

Your pantry and your fridge also need to be well stocked. Again, this is for variety. If you've been raw for years, this might not be the case, however if you are just learning, when you get that craving for dessert, or need a snack, you better have some ingredients on hand to whip up a treat. It's not like you can walk down to the local store and find some raw chocolate.

If this is sounding like a pain, it really isn't. It's just that you can't go on with your old ways. When you change to raw, you have to change how you view food and your approach to making it. Considering you don't use your oven, stove or microwave, using the other appliances daily isn't a big deal. It's pretty easy really, I'm just letting you know so you know what to expect. You know how I feel - knowledge is power.

Of course I'd love to tell you more, but my blender hasn't had a hug for at least an hour, so I better run!