DAY 40....The Beginning..

And if you are confused about why I am starting at day 40, read my post from yesterday.

My day started a little earlier this morning. The sun streamed into my room with unseasonably bright light and I jumped up rearing to go. It felt like a birthday, or Christmas or any day you wait for and are excited about, and I guess in some way it is. Taking care of myself and managing my health is really the best present I could ever give or receive.

Today has gone surprisingly well. I avoided my early morning coffee craving by taking a brisk walk - replace the behaviour, replace the behaviour (I'm hearing psychologists in my head!) and it seemed to work.

Then there was breakfast, which tasted surprisingly yummy - I didn't know how excited I could get about soaked oat groats - who am I kidding, I had no idea what an oat groat was until last Friday, so I didn't know if it would be worth being excited or not. But they tasted good. One thing I noticed straight away is how soluble our processed diet is and now insoluble raw food is.

I chewed and chewed and chewed... not kidding, breakfast took about 30 minutes and my jaw was slightly numb at the end of it.

But.... I didn't even think of food again until lunch, which is a miracle in itself and even then, I was hardly starving.

Actually, even if I was starving, I'd hardly starve, there's enough meat on this puppy to keep me going for a while, but you know what I mean. As soon as you hear detox, or cleanse, or diet, or change, you imagine you'll be figuring out creative ways to make one grape last a whole morning and by the time you start looking longingly at your toenail clippings and wondering about their protein content, you either start crying or run from the house to the nearest fast food place knowing you've just failed.

However, this time I think I am bound for success. I am however questioning whether I should have called this blog - Chewing my way through 40 days - but I'm not complaining, I'm just pleasantly surprised. I even had enough energy to drag myself off to an afternoon hot yoga class and didn't pass out or throw up the whole way through. So, even though I left the yoga class with the taste of potato chips in my mouth (and I can still taste them, even though I've just eaten an abnormally large amount of salad) I consider that to be two successes in one day.

For now though, I'm taking my energised mind and my tired beaten body off for some bath and book time and we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Oh, and FYI, when I do yoga, I'm wailing, sweating, cursing under my breath and wondering why I took the class and I look nothing like this beautiful photo! (photo by Aaron Neifer)

What am I doing?

I'm writing this blog because this is a big week for me. Next week I start a 40 day raw food detox plan.
I know, 40 DAYS of RAW FOOD only - help!
That's what I'm thinking. So, I figured this was one way of helping me to stay true to myself, of forcing me to tow the line, of being accountable and not cheating. I hate that word accountable, who ever included it in our lexicon?

Anyway, I'd love to say that I decided to do this because it was my birthday last week and I wanted to turn over a new leaf. But, that would mean I've started off by lying already, by NOT being accountable.
No, I started looking into a raw food way of eating in October of last year. Yes, you read it correctly - October. Who says I don't move fast when I make a decision?
And quite frankly, it scared the living daylights out of me. It was like those horror movies you see where you are too scared to watch, but you really want to, so you semi close your eyes and continue watching through a thick fringe of lashes. Yup, that was me; I read a little and slammed the book shut. Then I looked up a website and immediately deleted my browsing history - as if that would make sure I couldn't find it again. But slowly it intrigued me more and slowly I could keep the book open for longer and eventually I decided to hold my breath, throw caution to the wind and jump off the bridge so to speak - after all, it is only food!

But that's another whole story. We'll get to the 'only food' part of it and my reasons for doing this in a different post. For now, my week is dedicated to goodbyes.

Last night it was goodbye Chicken Parmigiana, specifically Pioneer Woman's Chicken Parmigiana http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/10/chicken-parmigiana/ if you haven't seen her website or used her recipes, now's your chance. Do it, do it for me.

You see, in a strange warped way, I've decided to make all the food I have come to enjoy this final week. Sort of an homage to a life I am leaving. A last goodbye, a final farewell, so that when I embrace this new life of raw food I know I have finished the circuit, tied all my loose ends and wept the salty tears that are a prerequisite when leaving the known for the unknown.

Hmm, that sounded good didn't it? But maybe it's not really an homage. Maybe it's just a desperate last ditch attempt to cling to starch and bread and fat - the three lovers that are so destructive to my life, yet whose calls I return, whose love notes I keep wrapped in scented cloth and tied with velvet ribbons to be re-read in solitary moments. The lovers that no matter how badly they treat me I return to for more.

Ha, did I say 'it's only food' earlier? Clearly it's more than that, but for now...

Goodbye Chicken Parmigiana. Last night I made you with turkey breast instead, flattened to within an inch of its life and as buttery and soft as tissue paper.
Goodbye Parmigiano Reggiano. You, who curl around my grater and leave gentle tendrils of gold scattered across my counter.
Goodbye olive oil sizzling in the pan. You encourage my garlic to soften leaving the scent of Italy and memories and a hint of good things to come thick in the air.
Goodbye whole wheat pasta burdened by chunky tomato sauce drenching bay leaves and made by my own hand.

Goodbye!